Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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