the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
