How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
