Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
