i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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