Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
