I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
