cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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