How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
What a dumb baby whore.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
