Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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