Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
