Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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