I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
