it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You've changed since you got that strap on
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
