he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
