He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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