Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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