He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
