elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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