he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
