Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just threw up on my dentist
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
