Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
