we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
