You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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