I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
