I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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