so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
