who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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