He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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