Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
