just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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