So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
