also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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