you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize