Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
