love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
