Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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