I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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