Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
