I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize