my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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