Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
