Plan B is the new Plan A
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
