don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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