high people should be assigned attendants
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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