a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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