last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
