i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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