Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
