5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
