I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
