it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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