when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
