My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
