I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
