i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
