I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
