spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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