I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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