HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
