you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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