you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
