if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
