ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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