how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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