He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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