Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
