hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I believe in your delicious
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
