All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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